Life Is a Platypus
by bookwatchertox
Summary: See how Phineas, Ferb, and Doof's lives meet... believe me, the story is better than the summary... I hope. Ch.5 is here: so is the end. Or is it just the beginning? See more conspiracy, more terror, and the fall of Danville. COMPLETE!
1. Cold Fusion Brain Swap

_Life Is a Platypus_

~Phineas' Point of View~

"Well, Ferb, what should we do today?"

He gave me a shrug.

"Well, we can't do nothing; we already did that. Do we have any projects we haven't done yet?"

"Look in our project book. It's in my pocket."

As if out of nowhere he pulled it out.

"In a thousand years I'll never understand how you can do that. Well let's take look, shall we? Hmm… let's see, rocket-powered roller-skates with a wicked ramp, instant food buffet machine, a dream reading device… ah, I remember this! Ferb, remember when we were trying to make a cold fusion reactor?"

"Yes, we gave that up to be 'The Kings of Couture".

"Yes, yes we did. Well, I found the blueprints to the machine and I had a thought. Why don't we try building this? If we can successfully link cold fusion, we could, I don't know, win the Nobel Prize!"

"Unlikely, but nice to aim high. Did you know it was named after the person who invented dynamite?"

"No, no I did not. Kind of ironic. Well, what do you say Ferb?"

Thumbs up.

"Excellent! Hey, where's Perry?"

Another shrug.

"Huh, I wonder where he goes every day."

We started our construction at 11:00. After a montage, we finished at 11:30. We ran a little behind schedule. It was about the size of a Mini Cooper. A bit bigger than I remember.

"Well look at it, Ferb! We finished it, but a bit behind our scheduled time."

"Yes, usually montages help."

Suddenly, in came Isabella.

"Hey guys, what'cha doin'?"  
"Hi Isabella! We were just putting our finishing touches on our cold fusion reactor. For our first experiment we are gonna try to power our house!"

"Sweet! But aren't you guys are a bit behind schedule today?"

Ferb said, "Yes, our montage didn't help at all."

"That's too bad. I saw Candace riding her bike frantically. Is there something wrong with her?"

I said, "Well, mom seems to think so, but she doesn't say it to Candace."

"Wow. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes, yes there is. Why don't you help me connecting these cords to the house's power grid?"

"Okay!"

We found the power grid, and we connected the generator to the grid.

She said, "That should do it, Phineas!"

"Good job Isabella! Now get up here and let's find Ferb."

"Okay!"

She got out, and I accidentally bumped into her.

"Oh, sorry Isabella."

"It's okay, Phineas." She blushed a little bit; for a moment, I thought I did too.

"Well, let's go find him."

"Yes, let's."

We found him waiting to test out the generator.

"Ready you two?"

"Yes!" We said at the same time.

"Okay…"

"Well Ferb, let 'er rip! Flip the switch!"

So he did. The house's lights started lighting, and the meter was off the charts!

"Wow, look at it guys! It works! It actually works!"

Isabella said, "You two are amazing! This could help the world! You could win the Nobel Prize!"

"We know! Why is the machine getting so loud?"

"What? I can't here you over the machine!"

"What?"

"What?"  
"Ferb, what's going on?"

He put his hand to his ear.

"What is going on?"

"I think the machine is…"

At that moment, a deafening shock wave erupted from the machine, sent the wave through the entire Tri-State Area, shorting out or destroying all mechanical objects in the radius of the blast.

After a few minutes, we gained consciousness. We weren't harmed, just a little singed. No severe burns or anything.

Ferb said, "Well. That didn't go as planned."

"You think?"

"Well, don't get smart with me. Uh, I think you might want to see the house."

Isabella said, "Whoa."

I looked and I could not believe what I saw; nothing. Half of the house was gone. Only the basic frame was left.

"Uh oh. What is mom going to say about this?"  
As if on cue, she walked into the yard.

"Oh, I don't think I will like this very much at all, young man!"

"Oh, hello, mom! I uh, can explain."

"You had better!"

"Well, Ferb and I were making this uh, cold fusion reactor, and…

"What? A cold fusion reactor? You are too young to mess with this stuff!"

"But mom, we do things like this every day!"

"What?"

"Yeah, we built a rollercoaster, a beach, carved Candace's face into Mt. Rushmore… "

"Phineas, Ferb, you two are grounded for the rest of your summers until you graduate!"

"But, mom we were just…"

"Not one word out of you Phineas! Or you, Ferb!"

"But…"

"Ferb! Just wait until your father sees this! The house, our cars are all ruined!"

"Pardon me Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, but…"

"Isabella, did you have anything to do with this?"

I said, "Mom, don't blame Isabella, it's not her fault."

"Okay, but be sure to say your goodbyes, I'm still thinking of a punishment."

She took Candace inside and I heard some of their conversation.

"Candace, you were right all along. I am so sorry for not believing you this summer. I take back everything I said about you behind your…"

Ferb said, "Well, I'll leave you two alone for a bit. I'll just head to our room and wait."

He went inside. At least the side of the house that got destroyed wasn't the side with the bedrooms.

"Isabella, where did we go wrong?"

"Oh, Phineas, I don't know."

"Well, I don't know either."

"Thanks for standing up for me Phineas. I'm sorry."

"Like I said Isabella, it's not your fault. I just want you to know I couldn't have any of these things without you." I said, saddened but saying it as nice as I could.

"Phineas, I…"

She just stopped talking and hugged me. I hugged her back.

"Well, bye Phineas."

"Bye Isabella. Wait! I… I…"

"Yes, Phineas?"

"I… forget."

"Oh. Well, see you around sometime."

"Maybe."

She walked with out saying another word.

Well, I walked inside, waiting for my punishment.

~Perry's Point of View~ (A while earlier)

Well, I woke up from my sleep, and went outside and lied down by my owners. There were times when I wish I wasn't a secret agent, and I could just spend time with my owners. But unfortunately, I am unable to do that. Speaking of which, time to go see what Monogram has for today.

I entered through the side of the house. Monogram was waiting.

"Good morning, Agent P. I wasn't expecting you to show up so early." He said putting on his wig.

"Let's get down to business. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been improving his firewall, so we have no idea what he has planned. Go get him, Agent P!"

I saluted him, grabbed my hang glider, and flew to:

~ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ~

And landed in a glass cage.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, how unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!"

What do you have planned for today, Dr.?

"Behold, Perry the Platypus, the Brain Reader-inator! I bet you're wondering what it does!"

I'm guessing that it's a mind reading device, considering the name.

"It allows me to read anybodies mind!"

Knew it.

"Including yours!"

Did not know that.

"Do you know what I can do with your information? I could find out where you live…"

This sounds bad.

"…come to your house…"

Bad.

"…ring your doorbell, and run away!"

And I thought he was evil. He doesn't even understand the implications of having my home address.

"Time to read your mind, Perry the Platypus!"

He pointed the machine at me, sat at the controls, put a device on his head, and fired.

"It's working, it's working!" he said as the data was streaming from my mind.

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

Yes! Yes! My plan is working!

"Take this Perry the Platypus!"

As the data was streaming into my mind, a huge blast came out of nowhere.

"What was that?"

This huge shock wave was racing towards us very quickly. Some idiot must have been tampering with something beyond his capabilities.

The shock wave hit my machine. Both Perry the Platypus and I were shocked, and both passed out…

Whoa, what happened? Why am I in a cage? Did Perry trap me again? Wait a minute; I couldn't fit in this cage. I looked in the mirror, and where I should have seen my perfect figure, I saw the body of Perry the Platypus!


	2. Platydoof

_Life is a Platypus Chapter 2_

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

I can't be Perry the Platypus! How will I be able to ring his doorbell now? How will I be able to build new –inators to be able to rule the entire Tri-State area (or at least a large portion of it)? I can see no advantage to having Perry's body! But wait a minute…

"Testing, 1, 2, 3… I can still talk! Hmm…Grgrgrgrgr. I can speak platypus too! Yippee! But wait! What happened to my body?"

First, I realized I would have to break out of his… I mean my trap. I used instinct, and a cool judo maneuver. Apparently, when I switched brains with Perry the Platypus, I also got his abilities! Score! Is that how easy my traps are to get out of?

I looked for my real body, but the entire room was trashed due to the Brain-Reader-Inator being destroyed in the explosion. I hope I didn't die! I don't want to be a smelly Platypus for the rest of my life!

When I had looked around for a few minutes, I finally found my body. Wow, is that really what I look like? I see why I was voted "most likely to be ugly" in high school. Well, "I" was unconscious. I noticed along with all of Perry the Platypus' memories and abilities, I now have control of all of his gadgets! With all of this new knowledge, I started formulating my newest evil plan.

I used Perry's wristwatch and contacted Major Monogram (or as I like to call him, Major Monobrow).

"Agent P? What's wrong?"

I knew better than to speak, so I showed him the unconscious me.

"Agent P! Nice work! We'll send some agents to pick him up."

After a few minutes, animal and human agents showed up to pick "Me" up, and I looked on in triumph, as _I _completed Perry's mission for him.

"Congratulations, Agent P, for a job well done! You deserve a paid vacation for this!"

He gets paid for this! My alimony checks barely cover the cost of evil! But a paid vacation! Sweet! I need some time to relax. But first, I need to execute my plan.

"You may go home now, Agent P."

I chattered in response, and flew off. I tried applying my new knowledge to my current knowledge to figure out where he, I mean, "I" live. As I approached my domicile, I assumed my mindless pet persona. I saw that the house was half-gone. Man, Perry lives in a dump! I saw a downtrodden girl walk out of his yard. She was talking to herself.

"Oh, Phineas, why don't you say you love me? Why can't I say it to you? Oh, there you are Perry. Phineas will be happy to see you." And then she walked away, starting to cry. Wait, it's not my birthday. That was a while back. I walked into the yard. This was charred too. And in the center of the yard, were remnants of a destroyed machine. Maybe that was what caused the explosion that caused the brain swap. I'm not mad because this is enabling to execute my ultimate evil plan. I saw a familiar triangle-faced kid walk away, sad as well. I chattered to let him know I was there. He looked over at me.

"Oh, hi Perry. Maybe you can brighten my day."

He came over and pated me. I did not enjoy it, but I had to try to convince him I was his normal pet Platypus. Who has a pet platypus anyway?

~Perry's Point of View~

I woke up in a daze. I felt like I was being dragged away… and I was. I looked up and I saw my fellow agents dragging me away in handcuffs. I tried chattering, but I couldn't. I looked at me, and I saw the body of Dr. Doofenshmirtz! I thought the machine only _read_ minds. It must be a reaction from that weird explosion. It must have switched our brainwaves through the machine. Agents C, D, and E threw me in a truck and drove me away. I tried talking, but that didn't work either. When we arrived at the Agency, I was thrown into a jail cell; literally.

I heard Monogram say, "Hope you enjoy your stay, Dr. Doofenshmirtz! We'll contact your daughter, to let her know her dad's in jail."

She's not _my _daughter! I need to get out of here!

~Ferb's Point of View~

I saw Phineas and Perry walk inside the house after Isabella had left. I have no idea who I feel sorrier for. Phineas or Isabella; Phineas because he can't show his creativeness for the rest of his life, and Isabella because neither of us… I mean them can show affection to the person they love. Oh, who am I kidding? I was (and still am) in love with Vanessa, but Isabella is more my age, and I know more about her. I can't tell Phineas that I am in love with Isabella, because of two reasons. 1. He might support me and try to get us together, and I'm not sure how that would ruin Isabella's, Phineas', and my relationship. 2. He might be devastated and never trust me again. I try to make my love for Vanessa more obvious, but occasionally I have let slip the fact that I am in love with Isabella. I just don't know how either one would react.

I decided to talk to Mom; but I couldn't find her. I think she is talking to Phineas. I ran into Candace instead.

"Oh, hello, _Candace!" _I said, almost hissing her name.

"Hello Ferb. Don't get mad at me, I didn't get you two in trouble; you did that on your own."

"Well, I guess we were the only ones that could."

"Hey, it's not my fault you two destroyed half the house!"

"It was an accident, Candace!"

"Well, that's not gonna fix the house!"

"I know! Ugh… sorry Candace, I'm just stressed, that's all."

"I can understand that."

"You can't _possibly_ understand what's going through my mind, or what it feels like being grounded for the rest of your summers."

"I think Mom and Phineas are discussing the punishment… but can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What _is _on your mind? We barely ever speak to each other."

"Sure, only if I can ask you a question when I'm done."

"Okay. Go on."

"First, it's what we do everyday. I only got to choose what to do one time, and that's it. I never get to say what I want to do. It can get annoying hearing (mimicking Phineas) "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" It can get on your nerves! He comes up with these ideas and doesn't allow me to voice my opinion, I mean; it's hard to say no to Phineas. It is fun, but sometimes, I wish we could relax, and not defy the laws of physics for one day."

"I guess that can get old. You need to learn how to say 'no'. If you don't want to do something, just say so."

"Next, it's that Phineas gets most of the credit for these spectacular things. I know he says "Me and Ferb", but he is a real glory hound! Remember when we were The Beak?"

"How could I forget?"

"He got the credit for saving everybody, when I was the one that saved those people from being crushed. Even Isabella didn't acknowledge me."

"Man, that must stink."

"Like dead fish."

"Yikes."

"And thirdly, there's this girl I like."

"Vanessa?"

I somewhat lied and said, "No, I've moved on. I would prefer to keep the name secret."

"Okay."

"Well, I know this girl very well, and she knows me, but I'm not sure how things would go if I told her."

"Why?"

"Because, I know someone who she likes, and I think he likes her back. I'm not sure how it would affect the relationship the three of us have."

"I'm not sure how to explain that one, Ferb. I guess you should say something to her, and see how it goes."

"Thank you, Candace. Now _my _question. Why do you try to get us in trouble?"

"Well, it's not that I don't love you two, but I do it to prove that I'm not the only one that can't get away with these things. I just wasn't expecting a grounding that harsh."

"Me neither. I need to say one thing more. Just enjoy life, Candace. Don't spend your summer doing the same thing. And it takes a big person to say things like that. Even though it could be taken as an insult."

"Yeah. Well, I enjoyed our conversation."

"Me too. See you."

I just vented all of my feelings to Candace, and I don't fell any better. I'll go check on Phineas.

He obviously just got done talking to mom.

"So, how'd it go?"

"I was able to convince her to shorten the grounding to the end of the summer…"

"Good."

"…If we fix the house…"

"Okay…"

"And we can't do anything until we fix the house."

"But what if we don't finish by our quota?"

"We still won't be grounded for many summers."

"That's good.

"Yes, yes it is. I still think that's considered cheap labor."

"Maybe, but it is fair, after all, we _did _destroy the house."

"_Half_ of the house, Ferb."

"Same principle."

"I still don't get why it didn't work."

"I don't know, Phineas, I just don't know."

"Okay, let's just go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us."

"We do indeed."

"Hey, Perry was right here. Where is he?"

~Doofenshmirtz's Point Of View~ (During the Conversation)

I snuck away from the pointy-head and the green haired (how is that possible? Is it natural?) British boy and I went into what appeared to be their room. I saw two beds. One in a raft and the other was a normal bed. I saw nothing of interest on the raft, so I went over to the purple bed. Since it was dark, I bumped into a shelf, and a book nearly fell on me. It landed on its spine and opened. I noticed it was a scrapbook. It was filled with pictures of many contraptions; a rollercoaster, a portal to mars, an animal translator, a photo-transporter, among many others. I noticed these two boys had a great talent in building. Maybe I could incorporate them into my plan… I decided to do more searching. In the British boy's cabinet, I found more pictures, but they were not of any huge contraptions. Some had that sulking girl I saw earlier, and others had m daughter, Vanessa in them; some with drool on them. He was in love with my daughter! I don't like him! He looks like a delinquent to me. I noticed that he liked both of them! He's a ladies' man! I definitely don't want him near my daughter! I did some more snooping, and all of a sudden, I was sucked down a tunnel that came out of nowhere.

_Sorry about the long and boring chapter, but I'll let you know it's important! Please review! I would really appreciate it! Sorry if I sound desperate. And thanks to those who did review! I did appreciate it!_


	3. Discoveries

Life is a platypus Chapter 3 _Sorry about the long wait. I had a few problems that had to be dealt with, so I was on personal hiatus; and I had a bit of writer's block. And don't worry, my other stories will be updated and maybe completed soon! Bookwatchertox is out, peace! Enjoy!_

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

I was sliding down the tube, going all different directions, when I was shot down and landed on a chair. Is that genuine leather? As I landed on the chair, Major Monobrow appeared on the giant screen. Hey, this would be great to watch sports on!

"Agent P? Why are you here? You don't need to be here. After all, Doofenshmirtz is in jail, and there are no other evil scientists trying to dominate the Tri-State Area, so, you're free to do as you please, Agent P. Monogram out. Carl! Fire up the dancing game again!"

The screen went blank.

"Free to do what I want, eh? And he doesn't have a clue that he locked up one of his own agents! It's too good to be true! Now, all I need to do is convince those two boys that are my "owners" to build contraptions that will help me with my plan."

But first, I decided to go look around Perry the Platypus's lair. I found some things of interest. A battle armor suit, remnants of my old –inators, experimental ray guns, and robot control guides with replicas of the owner family. That could be useful later. Other than that, I could not find anything useful to help me with my plan. But one question comes to mind:

How do I get out of here?

~Phineas' Point of View~

You maybe wondering something; how did I convince mom to let us off the hook if we rebuild the house? Well, it wasn't using any normal method. I used reverse psychology on her to try to get out of our grounding. I only got it to the end of summer, if we rebuild the house. I have no idea what happened to cause this. I decided to talk to Ferb about it.

"Ferb?"

He seemed aggravated at me for some reason.

"What?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it Phineas? I want to go to sleep."

"What do you think happened?"

"With what?"

"The cold fusion reactor."

"Well, I don't know what to think. Maybe the plans were wrong."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying, 'Maybe your plans were wrong.'"

"Are you insinuating that it's my fault?"

"Well I didn't say that, but yes, that's exactly what I'm insinuating."

"I… am surprised to hear that."

"Get used to it!"

"But wait… it could also be the engineer's fault too."

"How could it be my fault? I followed your instructions."

"Maybe you made a mistake."

"Well, I never make mistakes."

"Come on Ferb, everybody makes mistakes."

"Not me!"

"It's what makes us human, Mr. 'I'm British so I'm superior'!"

"You Americans, always looking to blame others."

"I blame others when it's their fault!"

"Well, so do I!"

"It's one of our faults, but it certainly isn't mine!"

"It is yours! I follow your instructions when I build!"

"Maybe you read it wrong. Just admit it Ferb."

"I won't, because I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yes you did!"

"God, you can be stubborn. I'm sleeping downstairs."

"Why?"

He ignored me and went downstairs. I can't believe I just had a fight with my own brother. I went to sleep with a combination of anger and sorrow.

~Ferb's Point of View~

I can't stand him sometimes! The nerve of him! Accusing me of ruining the reactor. How ridiculous! I got down to the couch, and curled up. I felt a draft. Then, I remembered; there was a huge, gaping hole in the side of the house. I didn't think this plan well through. I was almost asleep when I heard a whirring noise. I looked at the fireplace, and I thought I saw Perry come out of it. And I did. He was wearing a fedora, and looking around. I moved a little, and he noticed me, and let out a yell. It sounded more German than platypus.

"Who are you?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

He answered, "I am your pet platypus."

"Okay, I am freaked out now. How can you talk? Why do you have a fedora like a secret agent?"

"I have an animal translator the agency gave me."

"Why is your accent German?"

"Because Australian was taken and I'm half-German on my mother's side."

"So, you're a secret agent?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"Might I ask; why are you sleeping down here? Don't you have a bed?"

"Yeah, I just had a fight with Phineas."

"Too bad. Oh well, it'll pass. Now, how do you plan on getting back at him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Back in Gimmel... I mean Australia, whenever my brother bothered me, I found a way to get back at him equally."

"Well, then, I need one huge comeback."

"What did he do, exactly?"

"I had this conversation earlier. Let's just say... a lot."

"Well, if you help me with something later, I'll help you now. But, once you agree with me, there is no going back. Deal?"

I normally wouldn't do this sort of thing, but I am angry with Phineas... "Okay, deal."

"Now, this will take a few days to execute. Now listen closely..."

He whispered his plan into my ear...

" In exchange for my services, you would build for me a sonic emitter-inator, a computer hacking flash drive, and a long-range radio control. And remember, no matter what, you can't back out of this. Under _any _circumstances! Got that?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, here's what we'll do…"

A wicked plan of revenge was whispered into my ear. All I could do was listen very intently, as I put my own twists on this devious plan.

~Perry's Point of View~

I woke up in a confused state in the cold and damp cell. I tried escaping, but I forgot about one tiny little detail. I was in a straightjacket; and my legs were bound together. I looked over to my side and saw that another villain was sharing the cell. It was one I had never seen before.

"What are _you_ looking at?"

I didn't answer, because, well, I couldn't.

"What's the matter, Platypus got your tongue?"

I nodded to him.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. A platypus did me in too. His name was Perry, or something like that."

A jolt went through my spine. I didn't know this guy! How did he know me? Or was it even me? Maybe it was another secret agent platypus with the same as me.

"He was small, teal, fast, and had many improbable judo maneuvers."

That was me in a nutshell.

"I haven't seen him since the day I was imprisoned here. How long has it been? Let's say, about three years."

That's how long I've been fighting Doofenshmirtz.

"Well, since you can't talk right now, I might as well introduce myself. My name is Dr. Meddle-Schmidt. However, my real name is Gary. Pleasure to meet cha."

Once again, I nodded in return.

"I'll tell ya more about them there platypus stories another time, Doctor. Right now, it is time for breakfast."

Good. I need some breakfast. What did he mean? Was he insane, or was he telling the truth? If that was me, why can't I remember him?

After I saw what the oatmeal I was being served looked like, I thought it would be better to skip breakfast.

_**What was Gary talking about? What is Doofenshmirtz's plan? Will Phineas and Ferb ever be brothers again? What did the oatmeal look like? All these questions and some others will be (possibly) answered in the next chapter of **__**Life Is a Platypus.**_


	4. Platypuses are People Too

Life Is a Platypus Chapter 4-Platypuses Are People Too

Hello, sorry for the wait, but this went through many versions before I arrived at this version. I hope you enjoy it!

(By the way, for fellow grammar Nazis out there, Gary is insane. Any repetitions and mistakes in his speech are intentional.)

~Phineas's Point of View~

Well, today is gonna be a hard day. We can make a lot of things, but I have no idea how to build a house. Rome wasn't built in a day, ya know. Hmm... That gives me an idea. I'll write that one down for another day. Maybe I'm just overdramatizing it. Maybe I think it will be hard because it's more of a punishment. I'm used to making things for fun, not being punished to do so. Well, I hope Ferb isn't still mad at me. I feel terrible about how I have treated him recently. I should make it up to him somehow... Hey, where's Ferb? And where's Perry?

* * *

~Perry's Point of View~

After "breakfast", I was sent back to my cell. Gary joined me not too much time later.

"Hi, how are ya doin'? My name is Dr. Gary Meddle-Schmidt. What be yer name?"

I looked at him with confusion.

"Sorry, did I tell you my name again?"

I nodded.

"Sorry, the "doctors" of this facility actually believe I'm insane. Can ya believe that?"

Yes, yes I can.

"Did I tell you my backstory? About Perry the Platypus?"

I shook my head.

"Well, it was a few years ago, and I was working on my goal; to rule the Tri-State area. I was on top of my game, ready to rule the city, but every time my plans were foiled. The plans were foiled by a small teal platypus wearing a hat with the name of Perry. Heard of him?"

I shook my hand in a way that stated I have heard bits and pieces about myself. You know, it's weird to have a stranger talk about you and not have them know. Heck, I felt weird listening to it.

"I'll never forget the last day I saw him. It was a warm Tuesday about three years ago on a Tuesday. Did I mention it was about three years ago?"

I nodded yes.

"Anyways, I was working on my latest project, the Mint-inator! Using the machine, I will print real counterfeit money! The fake bills would not look, feel, or be any different from those printed by the government! Using my new amount of riches, I would buy all of the land in the entire Tri-State Area! Sorry, I got lost in the past there for a moment. Anyways, I was just finished building the machine, when I heard a knock at my door. The door opened to reveal none other than my little teal nemesis, Perry the Platypus! I taunted Perry to walk toward me, and then got trapped in a random hole that I didn't know was there."

This battle sounds reminiscent of those with Doofenshmirtz.

"I told Perry my plans. We were friends, yes, he and I were friends. Usually he escapes then foils my plan, but I was confident on my abilities this time. But what do I know? He escaped, destroyed my -inator, and handcuffed me to a nearby pipe. This was odd, because he usually leaves me to explode with the -inator, knowing I'll survive, but not this time; he cuffed me to a nearby pipe. He then beat me in the head a few times. He then proceeded to call his superior, Major Monogram, to come to my building and take me to prison, which is where I've been from then 'til now, talking to you. Is your doctor degree fake?"

I nodded.

"Mine was real. I am a certified doctor of science! Nobody stood a chance against me! Well, ya know, except the platypus that beat me on the head and left me to die. Since then I've been rotting in this godforsaken prison..." then he fell asleep.

I did that? I knocked him out and left him for the troops. That's what happened to me! Well, Doofenshmirtz's body. Who knows what my body is doing?

I have got to get out of here! After I eat something, of course. I'm starving!

* * *

~Ferb's Point of View ~

Well, today's the day! I hope "Perry" knows what he's doing. I do have some suspicions about him. Might as well get to helping Phineas in rebuilding the house. It will be tough... For Phineas. The plan is to constantly wreck the parts of the house he fixed so it would look as if he was goofing off. Sounds petty, I know, but wait for the rest. Then we plant a new contraption somewhere in the backyard to make it more convincing. I know, it's not the most brilliant plan, and it probably won't work, but hopefully it satisfies my sense of moral outrage. I do trust Perry, but something seems a bit off about him. Where is Perry, anyway? He said he'd meet me.

* * *

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

Ah, what a great nap. This fur keeps me warm and comfy-cozy. Who would have thought that being a platypus would have its advantages? The only downside is the smell. I reek! The food that the boy's mother serves me is okay; at least it tastes better than my mother's meat loaf. Come to think of it, their mom looks somewhat familiar... Oh well, it will come to me eventually. I wonder what the time is... 11:38! I need to find that green-haired freak to ruin his pointy-faced freak of a brother's reputation... And also a few other things. I wonder if what's-his-name... "Ferb" has finished those items I requested yet. My plan can't advance without those items! My glorious vision won't come true.

I made my way outside, which was simple because half of the house is missing. I found the British boy waiting there.

"Where have you been, Perry? I've been waiting for you!"

"Sorry Mr. British, but I just woke up from a platy-nap. Excuse me for needing my beauty sleep."

"I'm sorry."

"Do you have them?"

"Have what?"

"The items I told you to get! What else?"

"Oh, yes, here they are. A sonic emitter, a flash drive, and a long-range radio control. All here."

"Fantastic! Now we can proceed with your revenge."

"Will this work?"

"Most assuredly. The plan will be followed through most perfectly."

"Great."

"Yes, most excellent." Little fool. You don't know what's gonna hit you.

I went over to the remains of the old cold fusion reactor. This should do it!

I modified it to be much smaller and compact.

Now, time to exact his revenge.

* * *

~Phineas's Point of View~

Where is Ferb? He said that he would help. I hope that the fight we had won't keep him from the work.

"Hello?"

"Ferb, where have you been? I was waiting for you."

"Hey, this isn't my fault."

"Let's not fight anymore, Ferb."

"Oh, alright."

"Now get up here and help me."

"Sure."

So, construction began. It _was _slow. Ferb and I started on the front of the house. We decided to start there because half of the structure was still in tact. Ferb said it would be easier to start on a part of the house that was already complete. I agreed.

~Ferb's Point of View~

What a fool he is! I can't believe he is buying all of this! He actually thinks I'm helping him. What Does Perry have planned?

* * *

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

Ooh, boy, wait 'til that British boy finds out what I have planned for him. I took the cold fusion reactor to the power grid and watched the magic unfold.

* * *

~Ferb's Point of View~

I felt the house begin to rumble as Phineas and I almost finished the front of the house. We then fell off of our ladders. I fell and broke my arm. Phineas busted his nose. The house stated to shake and rumble as if there was there was an earthquake, but nowhere else was shaking. As I cradled my broken arm, I watched in horror as the house fell apart before my eyes. It then ruptured into a million pieces, exploding with a deafening noise that did end up doing damage to the entire neighborhood, reducing our house to rubble.

Phineas said, "What happened?"

"Uh, I have no idea." I told the truth when I said that.

"Did _you _have anything to do with this, Ferb?"

"No… I"

"You wanted to sabotage my work!"

"No… you don't understand… Perry…"

"What does Perry have to do with this?"

"I… uh…"

"You know what Ferb? Just leave me alone! You're not my brother anymore!"

"Fine with me!"

He then stomped away. I walked away from our former house, a tear in my eye."

I then met up with Perry.

"What did you do?"  
"I did what you told me to do."

'You said it would only increase his work!"

"It did."

"I didn't want the entire freaking house destroyed!"

"Listen Mr. British, I did what you wanted me to do. Remember, you now belong to me!"

"No I do not!"

"Remember what happens if you break the contract?"

"No, not that!"

"Yes…"

I was defeated.

Then he said, "Now go away until I need you."

I did as I was told and slowly slumped away, wondering what I had just gotten myself into.

* * *

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

Man… that… was… awesome! I wreaked Perry the Platypus's home! Phase 1 is complete! Now Perry is homeless, baseless, and bodiless! What's that beeping? Oh, yeah, the wrist communicator.

"Agent P, come into the lair immediately. I need to talk to you."

I chattered in response. I found a tube in the nearby fireplace.

When I landed in the chair, Major Monobrow started talking.

"Ah, Agent P, good to see you. I need to talk to you about your arresting of Doofenshmirtz. According to your schedule, you weren't supposed to capture him until the end of this summer. Even then you would not remember it afterwards."

I tilted my head in confusion.

"Oh, I've said too much already. And Agent P? Watch out. I believe someone might be after you. We are investigating the attack on your house. Still no leads. Alright, Monogram out." Then the screen went blank.

"Ha, Major Monogram! You have no clue! Now, time to execute Phase 2."

I then typed a message and sent it to all animal agents of the world.

_Hello, fellow agents of The OWCA_

_Our Time has come!_

_Meet me in my lair at 2100 hours for a meeting and enlightenment._

_Oh, and don't forget to bring snacks!_

_-Agent Perry the Platypus_

* * *

~A few hours later~

The animals are all here! I can't believe it is working!

An agent said, "Does anyone know what Agent Perry wants?"

"No." another answered.

I then took my place at my podium. Solid oak. It's beautiful.

"Attention animals of the OWCA! You all know who I am!" I said in my best Australian voice. "Now, do I have your attention?"

Then they all stared at me.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Now, what do you have to say, best agent of all?"  
"Our time has come! It is now time to revolt against our leaders and take over this organization!"

They all looked at me blankly.

"What? Agent P, are you out of your mind?"

"No, I have seen the light! Humans have oppressed us and bossed around for far too long! We need to revolt against our leaders, and then we will be free to make this organization our own!"

I still had a clamoring audience; I knew they wouldn't listen to me.

"ENOUGH!" I had let my German accent slip.

Then everyone went silent.

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz?"

"Well, glad to know that finally somebody has figured it out."

"Stop him!"

I then whipped out the sonic ray from behind me and blasted it. It made all of the animals cringe in pain. Not me, I was wearing headphones. With that, I took the radio control and pressed the red button. This sent their hats over their heads.

_They were in my control._

* * *

(Note: Dr. Gary Meddle-Schmidt's plan was borrowed from an unwritten story about Doofenshmirtz that never got past the planning stages. So, I thought I'd use it here. And sorry if the plan was a letdown, but it was the most petty thing I could think of. And the constant switching of views is irritating, but I thought it would help show the different character's feelings.) As always, reviews are appreciated, and thank you for reading! One more chapter to go!


	5. Fall of a City

Well, here it is, the fifth and final chapter of Life Is a Platypus. First of all, I would like to thank all of the people who have taken their time to review, I really appreciate it! Lastly, I would like thank you for waiting for and reading my story. Well, enough sentiment. On with the conclusion!

* * *

~Ferb's Point of View~

What have I done? I ruined our house! Where will we go? What will we do? Why did Perry do that to us? Mother will be upset once she sees what happened. She will never believe that Perry did it. I need to find a way to get out of this deal! If I don't, even worse things will start to happen. Where is Perry, anyway? And where is Phineas? Like I care. Oh, who am I kidding? I feel terrible! I need to find him. Oh, where could he be? I looked for him for few hours, and then I heard a distant boom...

* * *

~Perry's Point of View~

I looked around my cell as Gary was telling me more stories about his time here.

"... And that's how I got rid of the rash... A third time. The end."

I clapped my hand in fake applause.

"Yeah, I guess that story wasn't as good as my others."

Yep, he's right. The story about that terrible cold he got four years ago was much more gripping.

"Did I ever tell ya the story of the Bird Man of OWCA Prison?"

I shook my head.

"Well, it's a sad tale indeed. Are ya sure ya want to hear it?"

I nodded.

"Alright. A long time ago, when the OWCA was just formed and this prison opened, there was a man convicted of a false charge of murder. He had a pet, a macaw, named Jamie. This man knew that Jamie was an agent for the OWCA, but the OWCA didn't know that he knew. Well, when he was sent to prison, he was able to keep his bird, his best friend, with him. The bird remained ever loyal to this man, since they have known each other since Jamie was only a young bird. Jamie knew the man was innocent, so she tried to help the man escape, because no one here would listen to them. If it was just a murder charge, I have no idea why he was brought here."

That was strange.

"Well, after a few weeks of rotting in their cell, Jamie helped the man escape. The man got caught, and so did the bird. The heads of the prison did not like this attempted escape. They decided to teach them a lesson. They held the man down as they took the bird into the vet. Apparently, the people thought it was time to put Jamie down. They stuck a needle into her neck, and she was screeching like mad. The man watched in horror as his lifelong friend died slowly in front of his eyes. After minutes of fighting it, Jamie passed on. The man was devastated, although he learned the hard way about the death of the ones ya love. Now, there is a conspiracy behind this story. The conspiracy is that the OWCA did know that the man knew about the parrot agent, and they punished the man by putting him in jail and Jamie by killing her. I believe that conspiracy. Something is up with the OWCA, just nobody knows for sure. The agents aren't even told everything, if anything at all."

I had to think about that. I wanted to know who the birdman was, so I found a small rock on the floor and used it to write, albeit roughly, the word 'Who?'

"Oh...Ya want to know who the bird man was?"

I nodded.

"I think ya know 'im. He's that platypus's superior, Major Monogram."

Major Monogram? What else hasn't he told me? I do feel sorry for him, though. He lost his best friend. I wonder how Phineas and Ferb would feel if I wasn't around? Do they have any idea that the me they have isn't me? Do they even care? I have to get out this prison! But this place is sealed off at every exit! What am I to do? I can't do anything much.

* * *

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

I decided to pay a visit to my good friend Major Monogram. Down the tube I went and in front of the screen I sat.

Major Monogram looked as if he had seen a ghost. The sounds of chaos raged in the background.

"Agent P, thank goodness you're here! The other agents have gone mad! Do you know why?"

I decided to surprise Monobrow. I said, in my regular voice, "Actually, Major Monobrow, I do know."

"What... Dr. Doofenshmirtz?"

"In the flesh… and fur."

"What? How did this happen?"

"Brain reader gone awry."

"Okay… but why are the animals like this?"

"Sonic emitter combined with radio control."

"Where is Agent P?"

"Your troops arrested him in my real body!"

"Oh!"

"Yes! Now, follow my demands!"

"What are your commands?"

"Complete control of the OWCA!"

"Never!"

"Okay. I won't ask anymore."

"Giving up that early, eh Doof?"

"Nope!" then, into my radio control I said, "Execute Plan 66!"

"What is plan 66?"

Just then, agents of all shapes and sizes swarmed onto Major Monogram.

"No! Stop! Please! You can't do this!"

"I just did."

"No!" he pleaded until he passed out.

"Take him and the rest of the leaders and admirals and majors to the prison to rot! And put him in the cell with my body in it! Now go!"

They saluted me. The OWCA was mine to control! I left a small package on the dashboard, and then I walked out. When I was far enough away, I pushed a button on my universal control, and then came a deafening explosion to finish my work. Phase two and three; complete!

~Isabella's Point of View~

* * *

I woke up when I heard a knock on my door. On my way, I found a note from mom that said she went to the store and other errands, and that she'll be back soon. The knocking continued.

"I'm coming!" I said impatiently. After all, I was woken up from a great dream.

I opened the door, and standing there was Phineas!

"Oh! Phineas… he, he, what are you doing here?"

"Well… I had a fallout with Ferb."

"Over what?"

"Fixing the house."

"Why? Haven't you started yet? Is it still in one piece?"

"Look over there."

So I did. "Uh, Phineas, your house is gone."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Sorry… well, come in. My mom's gone."

"Well, maybe I'll come back another time…"

"No! I mean… it's fine with her."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay."

"Now, let me go upstairs and get ready and I'll meet you back down here, okay?"

"Fine with me. It is your house, after all."

"Great! Be back down!"

I went upstairs to my room and noticed something; my room was full of Phineas memorabilia, such as pictures, souvenirs, hair, etc. If we were to come up here, he would notice it. I need to get rid of it somehow. I can't put it in my closet, because that's where the shrine is. I know! I'll put it under my bed. It barely fit but it wasn't noticeable. I got dressed, fixed my frizzy hair, put a bow on top, and I was ready. Wait! Something's missing! I'll worry about that later. I then went downstairs to find him.

"Where'd you go, Phineas?"

"I'm in here, Isabella!"

There he was, sitting there on my couch, without Ferb by his side. This is perfect!

"So, Phineas, what'cha doin'?"

"Well, to summarize the day, I woke up, ate breakfast, got to work on the house, then Ferb joined me, then the house started shaking. I fell to the ground, nearly broke my arm, and watched the house explode. That's what I've been 'doin'."

"Wow, what a day!"

"You have no idea."

"Want me to fix your arm? I am trained to do that sort of thing."

"Sure, why not? You can't possibly make it worse."

So I got to work. During the time I was mending the arm, I told him to hold on to my hand if there was any pain. He held it the entire time!

After he was in a sling, he said, "Thanks Isabella, I don't know how I can ever thank you."

I can think of several ways, but making a move on him at this point might be too awkward. So I just said, "Consider it thanks for all of the fun we've had, plus those patches you got me this summer."

"Yeah, like the haunted house…"

"…and the biosphere…"

"…the rodeo…"

"…the trip to Paris…"

"I liked that one."

"Me too."

"Yeah."

"So, what are you gonna do now? Without a house, Ferb, or Perry…"

"I don't know. Ferb claims Perry destroyed the house! Can you believe that?"

"Uh… how can a platypus destroy a house?"

"I don't know. Thank you again for the arm. I mean fixing it, not the fact that you gave me another arm."

I let out a laugh. "Don't mention it. It was just a labor of love." I said it before my brain could filter it.

"What?"

"It's just an expression."

"…okay."

That was close.

"I enjoyed this time together, Isabella."

"Me too." more than you can imagine.

"You're a better conversationalist than Ferb."

"Thank you."

"He usually listens, but only occasionally will he respond. It gets kind of boring after a while."

"I bet."

"And he never takes the blame for anything."

"What a jerk."

"But you know what?"

"What?"

"I wouldn't trade him for anyone else."

"Oh."

"He's always there for me, barely questions me, but when he does, it's for the better."

"Phineas…"

"But I told him that he wasn't my brother anymore…"

Then and there, he started crying. I had never seen him cry before. On the island, he had a nervous breakdown, but he wasn't the one who cried. I tried to console him the best I could. I put my hand on his cheek. "Now, Phineas, don't cry."

"I feel terrible."

"Well, I'm here, remember that." I said as I tilted his face towards my direction. Our eyes met. I could feel a weird sensation in my stomach. I wanted to kiss him. I could feel myself moving slowly towards him. I just wanted to jump on him and start making out with him, right there on the couch. I knew that using his sadness for my personal gain was somewhat immoral, but at that moment, I didn't really care.

* * *

~Meanwhile, at OWCA Prison~

~Perry's Point of View~

Gary was telling me more of his stories when I heard the cell door open.

Some of my fellow Agents had thrown a new prisoner into the cell. I recognized the wig; it was Major Monogram!

Gary said, "Well, nice of ya to join us, MM."

"Gary Meddle-Schmidt? I haven't seen you in years."

I folded my arms. I felt like chopped liver standing over here. In addition, I was mad that he threw me in a cell!

"Agent P!"

"What! He's the no-good platypus that put me in this place? Why didn't he tell me?"

"Because, Gary, he can't talk."

I nodded.

"Okay… Bird man."

"What did you call me?"

"Bird man. Don't tell me you don't remember Jamie."

"Jamie?"

"Your macaw!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You liar! Tell the truth! Now!"

"I can't remember anything, I swear."

"That's odd. Something else to add to the OWCA conspiracy."

"What conspiracy?"

"None of your business!"

"Fine!"

Then he turned to me.

"Oh, Agent P, I'm so sorry. I made a huge mistake. Can you ever forgive me?"

No! You handed the entire city and my job over to Doofenshmirtz!

I then started punching him in the face. You let Doofenshmirtz enter my lair!

He was blue in the face and other places. And worst of all, you endangered Phineas and Ferb! That is the main driving force of my attack. He left my owners to Doofenshmirtz!

I kept punching him as hard as I could until I could no more. He lay on the floor, bleeding and in tremendous pain. Feeling tired, resentment, regret, and outrage, I went to my bed and went to sleep. I had always in some way disliked Major Monogram, but this was the final straw. I closed my eyes, but sleep didn't come easily. The thought of Phineas and Ferb with Doofenshmirtz scared me. I hope nothing bad happened to them. I would never forgive myself if any harm came to them.

* * *

~Doofenshmirtz's Point of View~

Time for my first attack! I marched my animal army to City Hall. Boy, I remember when I was mayor. I made my way to my brother's office, and I told the army to stay back until further notice.

I then burst into the office.

He said, "Perry the Platypus? Aren't you supposed to be with Major Monogram?"

"You know who I am?" he knows Perry the Platypus?

"Heinz?"

"Yes, sir."

"How are you…"

"A platypus?"

"Yes."

"I explained this story earlier; I'm not going to do it again!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I am here to claim what is rightfully mine!"

"Okay… you can have mom's bonds! They were for you, anyway."

"No, I… I wondered where those were. But not that! I am here to take over the Tri-State Area!"

"What are you going to do? Lay an egg?"

"First of all, I'm a male platypus, so that's biologically impossible. Secondly, no! That's not it! Now give it to me! Give me the Tri-State Area!"

"I will not!"

"Okay. Come in, my furry friends."

Animals burst through the door faster than I could finish giving the order.

"Why are you doing this?" he yelled.

"Payback." I said.

Then the animals started to jump, claw, and maim my brother. What a beautiful sight!

* * *

~Ferb's Point of View~

I looked all day, but I could not find Phineas anywhere. Oh, God. The house! I started looking for Phineas before I checked to see if everyone else was okay. On my way, I saw and heard a march. Many animals were lined up, destroying houses, setting fires, and hurting innocent people. I tried to find out what was going on, but I was taken by my arms and dragged away. "Put me down!" I screamed. Next thing I know there was a blow to my head and all went black.

When I awoke after an unknown amount of time, I saw I was locked in some cellar, or something. Blackness surrounded me. I had no idea where I was. Looking around, I noticed weird machines and other mechanisms. I started walking around my prison, and then I realized that the door was unlocked. Not very smart captors. Then again, they were animals. I walked out and was in a long, extending hallway that seemed endless. The colors were somewhat tacky; whoever chose purple and green as the design theme clearly has no sense of interior design. I decided to use the door across from the closet (not a cellar, just as unkempt).

It was unlocked, too. I was cautious as I opened the door, moving it ever so slightly. I peered my head inside (that was easy, because of my thin head). The room was empty. I opened the door completely and crept in slowly. My heart was pounding in my chest. The room was on top of a small building in some kind of penthouse.

I think I know this building.

I walked around the penthouse apartment. Pictures were hung around the walls. Some of them featured a scientist with a hooked nose. I think I've seen him somewhere. I looked at others and saw a platypus. Must be Perry.

"Hey, who are you?"

Speak of the platypus.

"Why Perry? Why did you do this to us?"

"Listen Ferb, it's time I told you something."

"And what might that be?"

"I am not Perry the Platypus. My proper name is Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz. My brain was switched with that of your platypus's. I maintained the ability to speak, plus do improbable judo maneuvers."

"So you lied to me."

"About some things. The secret agent thing is true."

"Why is our house destroyed?"

"I needed to destroy Perry the Platypus's house. Plus, it counts as a symbol towards the fall of Danville."

"The fall?"

"Yes. Using my Gloominator, I will plunge the city into eternal darkness! And don't forget, you still belong to me!"

"Get away from me!" I started running.

"Seize him!"

I ran for my life down the endless hallway. I had no idea where I was going. But with animals and humans chasing after me, I took the lead out and ran like hell.

~Isabella's Point of View~

I was close. I could almost taste his lips on mine. I was scared and excited at the same time! A kiss! This is much better than the video I made of him asking me if I would marry him. I said yes to that video. Then I kissed the screen. My mom came in to my room while I was kissing the screen, and then walked away with out a word. Just before we were about to touch, an alarm went off.

"What is that?" Phineas said.

"I don't know." ugh! I was so close! Then the TV turned on.

"Hello. We have breaking news. The Mayor, Roger Doofenshmirtz, is… dead!"

"What?"

"Dead?"

"That's right, dead. Here is live footage of what appears to be the murder."

The screen showed the mayor, maimed and battered, hanging from a gargoyle by the neck.

"It appears that the leader of this murder was a platypus."

Phineas said, "What?"

A teal platypus in a fedora was shown tightening the rope. It was Perry, alright.

"The platypus claims to be the mayor's brother, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. But right now, everyone thinks he's a crazy talking Platypus."

Phineas said to me, "Isabella?"

"Yes?"

"I believe Ferb, now."

"Me too. Phineas? I have to tell you something!" I tried to shout over the alarms, my fear increasing, my heart pounding in said fear.

"What?"

"I l…"

Then animals burst in and ravaged my house.

~Doofenshmirtz's Point if View~

* * *

I decided to show a message to the denizens of Danville by showing the body of their recently deceased mayor hanging from a gargoyle. Genius!

A person in uniform said, "This is the Danville Intervention and Protection Squad! Get off the roof now with the corpse mayor!"

"So, your squad's name is DIPS?"

"Yes. I told them to change the name but no! … Get off the roof, or we'll shoot!"

"I don't think so, uh…"

"Kevin."

"Kevin. I'm not going anywhere!"

"Alright troops, fire at my command! 3!"

I snapped my fingers.

"2!"

The animal army flooded them. They came from behind and in front of the people. The Gloominator fired into the sky, blotting out the sun, making the sky dark, and it will remain that way forever.

The people who protect the city are done for, Perry the platypus is gone, Monogram is locked up, I have the ruthless animals on my side, the people are scared, and I have killed my brother!

"I HAVE WON! HA HA HA!" this cry bellowed through the streets of the city of Danville, making the citizens know that all hope was gone. I had finally taken over the Tri-State Area!

* * *

This is the end of "Life is a Platypus", and just the beginning of a story arc called "The Resistance Chronicles". I decided to leave the title off this one to not give anything away. This is part 1 of said arc. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Once again, I would like to thank those who took the time to review, plus the loyal readers who stuck with me until the end! Well, soon part two will be published, so until then, bookwatchertox is out, peace!


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